


Adrian & Sven

by jolimelon



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aliases, Alternate Universe, Childhood, Fluff, Human Coran, Human Slav, Keith & Shiro (Voltron) are Siblings, LGBTQ Themes, Letters, M/M, Modern Era, On the Run, POV Third Person, Past Tense, Summer, Summer Camp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-07-17 06:31:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16090001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jolimelon/pseuds/jolimelon
Summary: While at summer camp, Shiro's nights are spent secretly writing letters under the pseudonym 'Sven' to his pen-pal, 'Adrian'. If caught by camp counsellors, Shiro's safe position in the closet could be exposed.When fate allows him the opportunity to meet his pen-pal in person, Shiro must risk everything to find out more about the boy behind the letters.





	1. Cross My Heart

"To Adrian,"

Each letter began the same way. Nothing special, nothing too personal.

He wrote of simple things, his tone refined and adult-like.

The replies would always come back, addressed just the same:

"To Sven,"

Though, of course, this was just an alias.

His real name was Takashi Shirogane, known simply as 'Shiro' amongst his camp-mates whose butchered pronunciations of his name were too harsh on his ears. But to 'Adrian', he was known as Sven and Sven only.

It was more for protection than privacy. On the possibility that the camp councillors ever caught wind that he was sneaking off and sending private letters all summer, Shiro didn't want his real cover to be blown.

It's not that he wasn't allowed to write letters, it's that he didn't want the secrets he wrote of to be exposed to the public. Letters sent out of the campsite had to be carefully inspected before they were approved of and sent out, due to past incidents of boys sending out obscene items that reflected poorly on the camps image.

Shiro quietly cursed those boys of the past each time he crept out of his cabin in the middle of the night, insects nibbling at his skin the entire way to the corner of town where the post box resided.

Letters sent to the boys at the campsite were a different story. They weren't inspected by anyone.

When the letters addressed to 'Sven' arrived, they were simply tossed into the trash can and forgotten about, on the assumption that he was likely a past camper from earlier in the year.

Nobody bothered looking into the matter, and so Shiro didn't feel the need to worry about it becoming a concern.

After retrieving the letters from the trash, he'd read them privately in his cabin, hidden away in the bottom bunk, knees curled up high so that nobody could see the large grin on his face. Nobody paid him much attention, anyway.

Shiro wasn't a loner, though. On the contrary, he smoothly made friends and was easy to get along with. But the boys at the camp were different- too different for him to want to befriend.

More specifically, it was a camp for less-fortunate boys. It was little-to-no cost depending on each boys individual situation, and given that Shiro was from a poor foster home, attending was free of charge for him. Each year, whether he wanted to or not, he attended camp Wimbleton. But, for him, this wasn't the issue.

Camp wasn't always a dreadful experience. When he was younger, the camp was a dream come true, making for some of the best memories of his young life. But as he grew older, he couldn't help but note all of the unfortunate changes in the atmosphere.

Once the frugal, rich parents had caught word of Camp Wimbleton's low prices, they began to send their children there for summers. The cost was significantly cheaper than hiring a summer nanny, and the camp wasn't in any position to turn away paying customers. In no time, the 'less-fortunate' campsite became over-run with spoiled little Brads and Chads.

Neighbouring Camp Wimbleton was the much smaller Camp Wimbletot, for kids aged 8 and under. That is where Shiro's younger brother, Keith, was staying for the summer.

Keith was only five years old, and a bit of a brothers boy, meaning he had difficulty making friends with anybody who wasn't Shiro. He was quiet, and moody, but Shiro loved him dearly.

Each day the two would meet up during free time and Keith would whine about the posh kids in his cabin.

"They still pick their noses, Taka," Keith would grumble, his tiny arms crossed over his chest. "And then they touch everything!"

"Between you and me," Shiro would begin, leaning in as he spoke in hushed tones, "I think the boys in my cabin still do the same thing. And they're twelve."

With a gasp of disgust, Keith scrunched up his little nose. "I wanna go home already."

Shiro had to fight back to resist the urge of saying 'Me too', and instead gave a reassuring smile as he put his arm around the boy. "The summer will be over before we know it."

This, naturally, was a lie. But Shiro had to lie. It was his responsibility as the older brother to sugar coat the harsh ways of life before Keith was old enough to open his eyes and realize how crummy things really were.

Keith let out a sigh of defeat. "I hope so."

"Just a little bit longer." Shiro's tone suggested complete certainty, in hopes that even he would begin to believe his own lies soon enough.

 _Just a little bit longer,_ Shiro continued to think to himself, even hours later as he sit quietly in the dining halls, surrounded by boys that screamed much too loudly, wasted far too much food, and frankly, stunk like sour milk. _Just a little bit longer. Just a bit longer._

In the distance, he could spot Keith eating unwillingly at a table surrounded by many other five-year olds that were not impressing him in the slightest. As one boy began to smash his face in his plate of food, causing the other boys to break out in hysterics, Shiro could clearly see the look of complete disgust forming on Keith's face as he quietly ate his own food. 

He looked over briefly, making eye contact with his older brother. Shiro raised his hand to wave, but Keith made a dramatic act out of swinging his nose into the air, and quickly looking in the other direction, complete with a displeased pout. Shiro could only conclude that Keith was upset that the summer had not managed to end in only a few hours, and that somehow it was all Shiro's fault for promising otherwise.

Every day at camp more or less followed the same recipe. It was a monotonous routine, but at the very least, Shiro had one thing to look forward to each night.

Lights out was promptly at nine o'clock for all age groups, but it wasn't until around eleven that the last of the boys fell asleep. Occasionally one or two would remain awake, but if they questioned where Shiro was heading in the middle of the night, he would simply answer, "The bathroom", immediately causing the curious minds to be at ease and wasn't cause for further questioning. The bathroom itself was headed down a long path, and quite a long walk of it's own, away from the cabin. It was the perfect alibi, and even if he took some time to return, the last of the boys would have fallen asleep by the time he returned.

His real concern was being caught by a camp councillor, and although it hadn't happened yet, it was still a major source of anxiety for him. The mail box at the corner of town was in the direction opposite of the bathroom cabins, and in order to head toward them, he had to pass by the councillor cabins, where their hours were much less predictable than those of the campers. 

Since the councillors had no set bedtimes, there had been times when the lights didn't go out until it was as late as two in the morning, yet Shiro had no choice but to sit in waiting until the cabin was completely dark. If he got caught heading passed them, he would have no good excuse as to why he was sneaking away, since they were even further from the bathrooms then the boys cabins were.

The waiting was always the worst part for many reasons. In the first place, he was terrified of being discovered, and then exposed for his multiple secrets all at once. Secondly, the bugs at night were unbearable. It made no difference whether he sit completely still or if he moved around a lot, the bugs would quickly gather around him regardless, and pick at his skin until he thought he would lose his mind. Thirdly, they were in a cabin in the middle of the woods, so evidently, they were surrounded by wildlife that could, at any given moment, suddenly appear and notice Shiro perched perfectly like a sitting duck for them to come and attack.

On this particular night, though, lady luck was on Shiro's side, and the lights went out at the early hour of ten o'clock. He then waited an extra fifteen minutes, to be on the safer side of things, before he began his secret journey to the corner of town.

Creeping passed the councillors cabin while the lights were out wasn't a difficult task, but that didn't make it any less frightful. As Shiro would duck beneath the windows, careful to avoid stepping on any twigs or leaves that might make too much noise, he often felt as if he were starring a horror movie where, at any given second, the killer would burst through the windows and catch him while he was vulnerable.

 _Aren't the gay characters usually among the first to die in horror films?_ Shiro would think to himself, gulping back. _But really... Don't they usually end up dying in every genre, anyway?_

His less-than-pleasant thoughts cast aside, Shiro instead tried to force himself to think of more calming things as he finally made his way passed the cabin, and began to tread cautiously through the darkened forest.

His latest letter to Adrian was one of the longest ones he had written all summer. He finally began to tell him all about Keith, whom he addressed as 'Akira', and how he hadn't come out to him yet as well as his uncertainty about how he would even begin to. Adrian often had a way of giving good advice, or at the very least, some form of comforting words when it wasn't something that he thought he could help with. Regardless, Shiro appreciated every word more than he could ever express in written form.

Adrian himself didn’t speak much of his family, so in turn Shiro didn’t know all that much about him. He secretly hoped that his own mentions of his brother would help Adrian open up about those more personal details of his life, though of course he’d never pester him for it. 

Soon, Shiro had arrived to the post box at the edge of town. It was located just beneath a tall lamp post, so it was illuminated in light amidst the otherwise creepy darkness of night. If there were another person at the box, he would often remain hidden behind a tree until they were safely out of distance. But, on this particular day, the coast seemed to be clear, and Shiro exited the forest with confidence as he approached the post box. 

Much to his surprise, another boy around his age had been approaching the post box from an angle that he’d been unable to spot him from. As he had reached forward to put his letter in the box, the other boy had done the same, and their hands had clashed, resulting in them both dropping their letters. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there,” Shiro was quick to apologize as he bent down to retrieve the letters.

“No, it’s fine, I should’ve been paying more attention to my surroundings.” The other boy responded. 

Much like Shiro, the boy appeared tall for his age, but his face and voice made it very clear that he was still at a young middle-school age. He had short, shaggy brown hair, dark skin, and thick rimmed glasses. In simple terms, he was rather cute. 

Shiro held the letters up and looked at the addresses on the front to determine which was his own. After a moment of inspection, he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. 

On the address of the opposite letter was the name ‘Sven’, and the address of Camp Wimbleton. 

Shiro glanced between the envelope and the boy several times, his brain quickly piecing together what was happening. 

“Is something the matter?” The boy asked. 

Shiro had shaken his head, though his perplexed expression was unchanged. 

“Do you mind if I ask you something a bit personal..?” Shiro began, hesitantly. 

Though confused, the boy hesitated responded , “Go ahead.” 

“Are you... Adrian?” Shiro asked, his gaze now solely on the other boy. 

Instantly, the expression of the other boy dropped, and he snatched his letter back from Shiro hands, quickly shoving it into the mailbox. 

“I...I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know who you are.” He said quickly, turning on his heels. 

“Wait!” Shiro called out, as he followed behind him. “I didn’t mean to scare you off. It’s just that- if you are Adrian, then you don’t have to worry about me knowing. I’m Sven.”

Instantly, the boy stopped walking and turned to face Shiro. “You’re Sven? From the letters? I expected you to be more...” 

“White?” 

“Yeah... With a really thick Norwegian accent, or something.” 

Shiro laughed. “Yeah, sorry, it’s a fake name. For secret disguise purposes.” 

“That’s alright,” The boy replied. “I’m not really called Adrian either. I didn’t want my parents to know I was receiving letters from a pen pal.” 

“I get it,” Shiro replied. “You don’t have to tell me your name if you don’t want to, but my real name is Takashi Shirogane. Most people just call me Shiro, so that’s fine with me.” 

“Why not Takashi? It’s a lovely name.” The boy responded, and then, extending a polite hand forward, he stated, “My real name is Adam. Adam W. It’s not really important what the W stands for. It’s kind of an embarrassing name.” 

Shiro smiled, both at the compliment toward his name -something he didn’t often hear- and at Adam’s self introduction. He took Adam’s hand, giving it a firm shake in return. “Adam is a nice name, too. It’s really manly, it suits you.”

“I didn’t think we’d ever meet like this. It’s kind of unreal.” Adam said, smiling. 

“Yeah, me neither,” Shiro replied, and then, taking a seat on some large rocks at the edge of the street, he added, “I wanted to ask, actually- It’s my turn to send a letter, so why are you out sending one tonight?” 

At this, Adam’s expression quickly dropped, and he slumped against the rocks next to Shiro. “I wrote it all in the letter itself but I might as well tell you now—I... I don’t think we can be pen pals anymore.” 

“Huh?” Shiro raised his eyebrows, now sitting in a stiff, upright position. “Why not..? Did I say something or..?”

“No, it’s nothing like that...” Adam said, staring up at the sky with longing. “My parents are starting to find all the letters addressed to Adrian suspicious. She ended up calling the woman whose home we rent every summer and asked if anyone in her family was named Adrian, since we’re receiving so much mail addressed to him. The lady ended up saying no, and that she also found the situation curious. If it continues, then I’m worried that they might start to read the letters you send, and then I’d be...”

“Forced out of the closet.” Shiro said, finishing Adam’s sentence for him. 

Adam nodded his head. “And I can’t be... There’s no way that they’d accept me.”

“I worry about the same thing at camp all the time,” Shiro replied, “I’m always worried that one day they’ll just randomly decide to start looking into things and end up finding my stack of letters.”

“I remember you writing a bit about your camp,” Adam said, smiling a bit, “I couldn’t imagine those boys finding out. It would be god awful.” 

“Right? I can’t really relate to the parent thing but I get why you’re worried.” 

“Thanks, Takashi,” Adam said, now returning his gaze to the boy. “I’m sorry about this all. I’ve had so much fun exchanging letters with you, I don’t really want it to end.” 

“Me neither,” Shiro said, a faint smile on his face. “It’s been the highlight of my summer.” 

Adam laughed, “Mine too. It’s been helping me get through things by just looking forward to each new letter.” 

“Well, maybe,” Shiro thought for a moment, and then jumped forward in excitement. “What if it doesn’t have to end?” 

Adam narrowed his eyes, not sure if he was following along. 

“Maybe we can just cut the post system completely out of the picture.”

“What do you mean?” 

“What I mean is that maybe we can just meet up every night like this, and exchange our letters in person.”

Adam quickly perked up, his eyes lighting up in excitement. “That’s not a bad idea, Takashi. It would save us both a lot of risk.” 

“It’ll be a little harder to sneak out every night but...” Shiro nodded his head with firm resolve, “It’ll be worth it.” 

Shiro held his unmailed letter out toward Adam, “We can start tonight!”

Adam accepted the letter and stared at it with an excited smile. “I’ll have my reply ready for you tomorrow night. Just… throw out that one I mailed tonight when it arrives.”

“Okay,” Shiro said with a laugh. “I’ll try my best to get here around this time tomorrow. I might be a bit late depending. It’s kinda hard to sneak out of a camp.” 

“That’s okay,” Adam said. “I don’t mind waiting a bit. My parents both sleep like rocks.”

“Perfect,” Shiro said, extending his smallest finger forward, “Let’s swear on it!”

Adam stared at Shiro’s pinky for a moment, both confused and amused to see a twelve year old boy still living by a childish method of making promises. 

Regardless, he connected his small finger with Shiro’s and locked them in place. 

And then, drawing an ‘X’ over their chests, Adam and Shiro both chanted together,

“I cross my heart, and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.”


	2. Nights of Freedom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry about how long it took to get this second chapter up! A lot has happened since I posted the first and unfortunately I had to prioritise some real life things in its place, but I'm happy to say that the next update won't take nearly as long. Thank you so much for your patience, and I hope you enjoy this update!

The following night, Shiro had snuck out of camp just as smoothly as the night before. The camp councillors had once again had an early night in, and there was no issue creeping passed their windows. 

By the time he had made it to the post box, Adam was already waiting for him, a crisp white envelope held in his hands. 

After handing it off to Shiro, the two parted ways rather abruptly. The next night, Shiro would exchange his response and so on. 

The new system was much more efficient than relying on the post office to deliver their mail, and neither had to worry about their covers getting blown either. 

Things were perfect. 

Well, almost perfect, anyway. 

With each passing night, Shiro found himself longing for more than the brevity of his meetings with Adam, and though their letters still brought him such joy, he knew that there was much left to be desired. 

The truth was that he had become so enamoured by the person behind the letters, that he wished to find any excuse he could to linger longer during each meeting.

But Adam often got cold feet and wanted to hurry home, a reasonable concern that Shiro wasn’t going to argue with. 

Even so, Shiro knew that a rare opportunity had presented itself, and he didn’t want to let it slip by. 

Both he and Adam were closeted to everybody in the world but each other. It was their precious secret that allowed them to be more themselves together then they ever could apart. 

When summer would come to an end, Adam would return to his home in the city, and Shiro would return to his every day life. 

The distance between them would be too grand to even dream of hand delivering letters to each other.

It was now, or never. 

On the third night of meeting, Shiro decided to act boldly. 

It was before Adam had a chance to run off, the letter still held between his and Shiro’s hands.

“Hold on a minute, Adam,” Shiro had said, with no particular script in mind before speaking. 

“Yes?” Adam had responded, his feet dancing with impatience. 

“Are you able to stay for a few minutes? Like the night we first met?” 

Adam swallowed back. 

“If you can’t, then...” 

“I’m sorry,” Adam apologized, his feet slowly losing their energy, “I just get worried they’ll realize I’m gone.” 

“Me too,” Shiro understood the feeling all too well. “But would a few minutes really make that much of a difference?” 

“It could make all the difference, actually...” Adam mumbled. 

He retracted his hands from the letter, nervously adjusting his glasses up the bridge of his nose. 

“I guess so,” Shiro replied, not sure where else to take things. “Do they check up on you a lot at night?” 

Adam shook his head. “No. Not at all.” 

Shiro then furrowed his eyebrows. “Then why worry so much?” 

“Because...” Adams voice trailed off, “What if they suddenly begin to? Or what if there’s a house fire and they try hard to come save me even though I’m not there?” 

Shiro blinked a few times. 

“It could happen. And as they attempt to bang down my locked door, they pass out from smoke inhalation, and die wordlessly in the flames. By the time the fire trucks arrive, it’s too late to do a thing. The whole house is burnt to a crisp, and yet, I was just out in the woods, speaking with a boy the whole time.” 

“Jesus Christ, Adam,” Shiro didn’t know what else to say. 

“I know it’s stupid but it could happen.” 

“No, I get it, and I won’t force you to stay.” Shiro concluded. “Maybe if they go out for the night or something, we could talk then for awhile? I just don’t want to let a whole summer pass us by without more face-to-face conversation.” 

“I know, sorry,” Adam adjusted his glasses again, a quirk formed more out of nervousness then necessity.

“I mean, the letters are a lot of fun too so don’t get me wrong, but meeting you in person has been really cool, and it really opened my eyes, y’know? Made me realize how much I still have to learn about you.” 

Adam’s posture eased slightly, a smile forming softly at the corners of his lips. “I’d like to get to know you in person, too.”

“Then, one more time?” Shiro extended his smallest finger, that was quickly met with Adam’s. They locked them and gave them a firm tug.

“Whenever my parents leave for the night, I promise we’ll talk for a very long time about all sorts of things that we couldn’t possibly squeeze into a single letter.” Adam swore. 

“I promise that I’ll be there.” Shiro replied. 

The promise was sworn by the power of their little fingers. 

It just became a matter of waiting. 

The days at camp passed by much slower after that.

Of course, Shiro was still excited to read the letters from ‘Adrian’, and eager to write back, but it took up such a small portion of his day. 

The rest of his days were filled with dreadful camp activities. The only time he had room to breathe was during free time, but even that was spent listening to the complaints and whines of his baby brother. 

And he loved Keith, absolutely more than anything, but god, the kid could go on and on. 

Even Shiro had his limits.

But any time Shiro would pipe up and tell him, “Maybe it’s not so bad, maybe you could try to see the bright side,” Keith would only become more irritable. 

He was the grumpiest five year old in the world, and Shiro’s patience only wore thinner with time.

To top things off, the letters exchanged between Adrian and Sven became shorter in length with each passing day. It wasn’t as if the two were growing bored of writing to each other (or so, Shiro hoped not), but after meeting in person, writing letters had begun to feel limiting in ways. 

Meeting in person had been an incredible experience that Shiro didn’t take lightly. In just a few moments, he was able to speak words that would otherwise have taken him ten or more minutes to write out by hand. 

And even then, written word was so much more restricting than spoken word. He wasn’t able to fully convey himself at times without his writing sounding childish or subpar, which, in comparison to ‘Adrian’s mature prose, he really didn’t want to come across as anything less than his best self. 

Yet, that same pressure didn’t exist in reality. Both he and Adam were able to speak freely in their own ways, and there was no need to stop and think- the words could flow freely. They were just two kids chatting away, in the way that two kids might.

Though, try as they may to keep their written letters exciting and long, it had felt like the two had hit a wall instead.

 _Maybe Adam really is getting bored of it,_ Shiro thought to himself, though he really didn't want to think it. _It's possible. And if one day he suddenly decided to stop showing up, what could I do? It's not like I could just show up to his house- well, I could but it's not like I would. The last thing I'd want to do is to out him._

Consumed by his overly dramatic melancholic thoughts, Shiro persisted in keeping his letters as interesting as he possibly could. Once he ran out of daily-life things to write about, he began to tell 'Adrian' the details of his past, and what his life was like outside of the summers he spent at camp Wimbleton. Maybe he was beginning to cross a line into things that were a little more personal than they should be, but he wanted to keep the interest alive. 'Adrian' hardly spoke of his personal life in return, save for a fleeting sentence about his family here and there, but he seemed intrigued by the details of Shiro's life.

Ultimately, there wasn't much he could do to save the dying flame of their short-lived summer letter exchanges.

But hope wasn't lost yet.

On the fifth night of meeting, Adam had arrived to the meetup point empty-handed. Shiro stared at him for a second, a sinking feeling in his chest as he felt that his worst fear was coming true.

"Did I say or do something wrong?" Shiro asked, before Adam had a chance to say anything.

"No," Adam answered, "Why do you think that?"

Shiro pointed downward at Adam's empty hands, "You.. um... didn't write me a letter."

"I thought it might be pointless." Adam answered bluntly, causing Shiro's shoulders to visibly slump.

"So... did I say or do something after all? Because if I did then I really didn't mean to, I swear."

Adam's lips tightened together as he held back a laugh, which only deepened Shiro's confusion, "I thought it might be pointless since my parents will be gone for the next few nights."

Just like that, Shiro's attention was once again perked, and a knowing smile began to spread across his lips, "So that means..." his voice trailed off slightly before he continued, "... we can hang out?!"

Adam nodded his head quickly, "Yup! Sorry for tricking you."

Shiro sighed a breath of relief. He jumped forward, and pulled Adam into a tight hug. Adam's arms remained still, as if he were temporarily frozen on the spot.

"I really thought you were getting bored of me!" Shiro exclaimed, "Don't scare me like that!"

"Huh? No, I'm not getting bored of you, Takashi," Adam responded, his arms reluctantly pulling inward to return the hug.

Shiro pulled away from the embrace, his hands still firmly placed on Adam's shoulders as he continued to excitedly speak away, "I can't believe it! We're actually getting a chance to get to know each other in person. Am I dreaming? Pinch me."

Without missing a beat, Adam reached forward and pinched Shiro's forearm, causing him to flinch back.

"Ouch, okay, definitely did not mean that literally," Shiro said, laughing awkwardly.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Adam said, sheepishly adjusting his glasses with his fingers. "You said it so boldly I really thought you meant it."

Shiro snorted as he held back another laugh. Maybe the lines between Adam and Adrian were more blurred than he had previously thought. Maybe he really was as serious in person as his writing suggested he was.

"That's okay," Shiro said, running a hand through his hair coolly. "Is there anything in particular you wanted to do tonight?"

Adam thought for a moment, his lips pursed to the side as he tapped a finger on his chin in contemplation. "As long as we avoid town, I think there's a lot we could do."

"Are your parents in town, then?"

"No, but we know a lot of people in the area so I don't want anyone to tell my parents they spotted me out late at night."

"Good point," Shiro said, with a nod. "Maybe we can walk around a bit in the shallow ends of the forest and see what we think of along the way."

Adam smiled, "Okay, I like that idea."

With only the faint remnants of the streetlamps to light their path, Shiro and Adam began to walk down the inner corners of the forest's edge. They didn't speak much at first, and kept their walking speed to a slow, steady pace until they became accustomed to each other's walking styles.

It was a little awkward, Shiro had to admit. Maybe beginning a conversation in person was a tad harder than he had anticipated it would be. There was so much to discuss that it was difficult to decide where to even start, and any daydreams he had of how he would start up conversations with Adam were completely slipping his mind. There was no way Shiro was going to let the meeting go to waste, though.

"So, have you-"

"Um, do-"

Both boys quickly shut their mouths after accidentally speaking up at the same time.

"Sorry, you go ahead," they both replied, once again in unison.

They laughed briefly, and Shiro gestured his hand toward Adam, as if motioning for him to speak first. Adam quickly understood the motion, and nodded his head.

"I was going to ask you 'do you have to spend much longer at camp?'" Adam asked.

"There's still like, two weeks left." Shiro grumbled with a sigh.

"Is it really that awful?"

"I mean," Shiro laughed a bit, "You do read my letters, right?"

"Oh, of course I do, it's still so crazy to me that it's that awful. I always thought summer camps were supposed to be a ton of fun."

"It was fun when I was little," Shiro explained, "Before it was ninety percent posh kids."

"And posh kids are really that awful?" Adam asked with a raised eyebrow.

"They're the worst." Shiro answered bluntly. "Well, I might be exaggerating a bit but their attitudes really wear patience thin."

"I'm sorry to hear," Adam said.

"It's okay," Shiro replied, nudging Adam's arm gently with his elbow, "I don't think about it at all when I'm with you."

Adam averted his gaze in a sheepish manner, and Shiro couldn't help but snort as he held back a laugh. Perhaps his choice of words had been more on the flirty side, but he couldn't help it. Adam was the only boy he could jokingly flirt with- ever, in his life, and it felt nice to let his shoulders hang loose and tease him a little. As long as he wasn't mean about it- and naturally he would never dream of being mean to Adam.

"So, um," Adam began to speak again, and it was clear that he was changing the subject, "Do you remember what you were going to say earlier?"

"No, I can't recall," Shiro answered, and again, he smirked to himself before adding, "My mind just goes blank around you."

Much to Shiro's surprise, Adam was quick with a response, as he playfully tilted his head, an eyebrow raised as he replied, "So I make you stupider, is what you're implying?"

"Wait, no, no, no," Shiro was quick to interject, and then he laughed while shaking his head, "Okay, that wasn't my best work, I admit."

"Are you always this flirtatious?" Adam asked, "I didn't get that impression from your letters at all."

"No, definitely not. Sorry, I'm just joking around," Shiro said, "It's kind of amusing- that flustered look you get on your face."

"I didn't say I disliked it," Adam said, averting his gaze once more, "I'm not used to it, that's all."

Shiro smiled softly, more understandingly. He knew what he meant all too well. Receiving such attention from other boys was a rare occurrence, but it felt nice when it happened. He felt the same way while reading letters from 'Adrian', and it was refreshing as opposed to the usual real-life interactions with other boys.

"So what's your best pick up line, then?" Shiro asked, receiving a quick look of confusion from Adam as a response. "You've gotta have at least one."

Adam shook his head, "I've never flirted with anybody before. I don't know a single pick up line."

"Not even one?"

"Nope."

"Wow," Shiro mumbled, "I guess anything can be a pick-up line if you use the right inflection."

"How do you suppose that?" Adam asked.

"Well, for example, I could say to you, 'Adam, that shirt looks great on you,'" Shiro said, his tone remaining steady and serious, and then, with a smoother and more flirtateous pitch, he added, "Or I could say it like "Adam, that shirt looks great _on you._ "

The apples of his cheeks burning a bright red, Adam began to walk just the slightest bit faster, his gaze remaining focused on the floor of the forest, "Alright, yeah, there's definitely a big difference there."

Shiro laughed, quickening his pace to match with Adam's, "Am I embarrassing you? I'll stop if I am."

"No, Takashi, I'm sorry. Like I said, I'm really just not used to it."

"Hey, don't be sorry. I don't blame you." Shiro was quick to re-assure him, "I won't push the limits with the teasing if it makes you uncomfortable."

"I get it. You can't normally flirt with boys. Me neither. I wouldn't even know where to begin." Adam replied.

"Well, then, feel free to practice on me any time."

Adam raised his eyebrow, shooting a curious look at Shiro. 

Shiro laughed, "Okay, that one wasn't a pick-up line, I swear."

The two boys laughed, and any tense air that remained had diminished, leaving no trace of awkwardness behind.

"I just hope you can feel comfortable enough around me to speak your mind," Shiro continued to speak, "And if you wanna joke flirt, then hey, I'm down for it. We need to practice somewhere, right?"

Adam smiled with interest, his head slowly nodding as he replied, "I could be into that."

"See, now that line delivery there was pretty flirty." Shiro replied.

"Really?" Adam asked, pleasantly surprised. "Did I do it?"

"For sure! I'd give it an A."

Adam laughed, "I'll take it."

The two continued onward with their walk along the forest's scarcely travelled edge with only the dim lighting of the street lamps to illuminate their path. The night air was eerily silent with a subtle chill increasing as the night grew later. 

The boys continued with their discussions of flirting, a subject neither would dream of discussing with anybody else in the world. Adam quickly grew more comfortable with Shiro's teasing, as he knew that it was all in good fun. In return, he felt at ease enough to jokingly flirt in return, presenting lines of which Shiro insisted made him sound like a natural.

Yet, despite the fun they were having, Adam had developed an increasing habit of frequently checking the time on his wrist watch, likely to make sure that he wasn't keeping Shiro out for too late. Shiro, however, wasn't worried about it. Somehow, time was the last thing on his mind.

"Is there a specific time you want to head back by?" Adam eventually asked.

"Honestly, I don't want to go back at all." Shiro answered bluntly.

It remained quiet for a moment, and eventually Shiro broke the silence as he spoke again.

"I guess I have to go soon though, huh?" he sighed in defeat.

"There's always tomorrow night, too." Adam assured him.

Shiro smiled meekly, "Yeah, that's true."

Adam took a step forward, placing his hand on Shiro's shoulder. He stared into his eyes, his expression both soft and sweet, "I'll be waiting for you at the same time."

"Thanks, Adam." Shiro replied, gently placing his hand on top of Adam's, doing his best to return the same warm expression to the other boy. "I'll be looking forward to it.

It was then that the two had to part ways. 

Shiro’s feelings were best described as conflicted, to say the least. As he made his way through the vast forestry of the land, he couldn’t help thinking to himself how awfully far away tomorrow night felt. 

Perhaps it was dramatic to think so- okay, undoubtedly dramatic, but he didn’t know how he was going to make it until then. His little escapes from camp were like a miraculous cleanse to his otherwise cluttered mind, and like sweet medicine to his high-raising anxiety. Similarly, returning to camp only brought all of those ill-feelings right back to him.

But, as best as he could do so, Shiro continued to grin and bare it. The thought of the next night would give him all of the energy that he needed to survive whatever the day could possibly throw in his direction. He would get through it.

And so, he did. On a positive attitude alone, Shiro had found the next day at camp wasn’t as bad as it normally would be. Maybe it was because his mind was often lost in a daydream, but he hardly even felt like he was at camp at all. 

Again, once night had hit, Shiro briskly left the campsite as soon as the lights of the councillors bunk were shut off. 

Again, Adam was waiting for him at the corner where the forest met the town. 

And again, the two walked along the forest edges, the dim light of the street lamps as their only guide.

Their conversation that night focused mainly on one topic: The future. Once they had gotten started, they had found it difficult to speak of much else. They were both big dreamers, with a lot of potential paths laid out before them. The difficult choice was deciding where to go from then on.

To Shiro’s surprise, Adam spoke of his hopes to one day become a teacher. He wasn’t sure what level of education he wanted to teach exactly, he just knew that teaching was something he enjoyed as he often found himself tutoring his classmates in need. 

Shiro’s future plans were less extensive, and he still wasn’t exactly sure what career path he’d want to take on. 

“You have plenty of time to think of something,” Adam reassured him, “We’re only twelve, after all.”

Adam’s word were refreshing to Shiro’s ears. He had grown so accustomed to adults telling him how mature and grown up he was for his age group, that having someone else of the same age remind him that they were still just kids was a pleasant reminder. 

There was no race for the future. He still had time and lots of it at that. It was something he had known on his own but to be reassured made him content in his knowledge. 

_It’s nice to be reminded that we’re just kids,_ Shiro thought to himself, _We don’t have to rush to do anything. The future, careers, coming out… Those are all things that can wait._

Parting that night was just as bittersweet as the night before, but once again, Adam reassured Shiro, "There's always tomorrow night."

Shiro smiled, and nodded his head. "I'll be looking forward to it."

"I'll be waiting." Adam replied.

Again, they parted ways.

It was almost as if Shiro was gliding through the following day in the lull of a sweet daydream. Nothing was bothering him as much as it used to, and through the trials and tribulations he had to face, he was becoming a more patient person as a result. Even dealing with Keith's grumpy attitude wasn't as much of a chore. In fact, seeing Shiro in such a good mood over the past few days had taken a positive effect on Keith, making him just as giddily gleeful as his big brother. Shiro hadn't realized how much his negativity, no matter how hard he tried to hide it away, was rubbing off on little Keith.

As the two spent their free time that day playing some overly silly game of pretend, they laughed heartily with love and joy, forgetting about all of the world around them in the meantime. Shiro couldn't help but wonder to himself when the last time they had had so much fun was. It wasn't since before the summer had started, maybe even a lot longer than that, that he had last seen Keith laugh with such force that he had to clutch his sides while begging for mercy through exasperated giggles.

Camp wasn't so bad _sometimes._

At the very least, Shiro was still able to goof around in Keith's company, and feel the pressure of his tweenage years easing the burden it took on him. It was nice to be a little childish every now and then, and have Keith look at him like he was the coolest brother in the world.

And, well, if it weren't for camp then Shiro never would have met Adam. Not even once. There just wouldn't have been even the slightest chance of it happening.

So maybe it was a bit much to say, but Shiro felt as if the events of that summer were decided for him by fate. A fate that he, so far, was more than content to live with.

* * *

"When are you sleeping anymore? You look exhausted," were the first words Adam greeted Shiro with that night.

Shiro wasn't sure how to respond. Sure, he wasn't sleeping as much, but he felt fine, and he certainly didn't think it had taken that much of a toll on his appearance.

"Do I really look that bad?" he asked.

After a moment of hesitancy, Adam answered, "Maybe you should head back tonight. I'm worried you're going to pass out or something if I keep you out all night like this for much longer."

"No!" Shiro blurted before giving it much thought, and then, calming himself a bit, he added, "I can't go back. Adam, I need my time with you."

Adam sighed, his eyebrows sunken beneath his glasses with worry, "Takashi, you can't risk your health."

"But I feel fine, I really mean it."

With a groan of defeat, Adam attempted to compromise, "At least take a nap... Even if it's just for an hour or so."

Shiro furrowed his brows, "I can't just sneak back in and sneak back out for a one hour nap."

Laughing, Adam replied, "No, I mean, you can nap here."

Shiro glanced at the area surrounding the two. It was quiet, desolate, and despite how many times they had travelled it, they had never seen another person around.

"In the forest?" Shiro asked.

"Sure, why not?" Adam shrugged his shoulders, "I'll be awake, and I brought a book with me. We'll stay in the shallow end where there's no animals, and I can read by streetlight."

There was no denying that a nap was a tempting idea after the many hours of sleep that Takashi had lost the past few nights. By the time he would arrive back to camp, and by the time he fell into a decent sleep, there was only an hour or so until it was time to awaken and start a new day. Despite how energetic he had felt, there were still moments where the grogginess of sleep-deprivation would get the better of him- usually those moments would be when he sat in any one position for too long, such as at meals and so on.

He wasn't in any position to deny that his recent habits were anything but unhealthy, and so, Adam's concern was both touching and a slice of truth that he needed to hear.

"Okay, fine," Shiro said, giving in, "But you have to wake me up after an hour."

A grin of victory spread across Adam's face, his sense of pride over having won clear by his expression alone. He clasped the palm of his hand around Shiro's, and led him off further to the edge of the forest. There was a row of large rocks around the base that acted as a small, natural border separating it from the town. Adam set his bag down and sat in front of the largest of the rocks, his back pressed against it so that he wouldn't be visible from the town-side. Shiro, following his lead, chose to sit at a slight distance from Adam's left side, and then laid down, his head in his hand, in as comfortable a position as he could given the circumstances.

"Wait, don't," Adam said, "You'll just hurt your head like that. Come closer." 

Shiro began to inch closer to the other boy, but when he noticed that Adam was gently patting his lap with the palms of his hands, his cheeks began to burn up, understanding immediately what he was suggesting.

"Are you sure?" Shiro asked, swallowing back. His eyes remaining peeled to the soft repetition of Adam's hands against his thighs.

"It's better than the dirty ground, right?"

A soft smile came onto Shiro's face, and he knew he couldn't deny it even if he had wanted to. "Of course."

"So go ahead," Adam said, motioning his head towards his lap. 

Taking Adam's offer, Shiro inched closer to the boy until he was near enough so that his head could comfortably fit on his lap. He moved stiffly at first, his movements both awkward and unfamiliar. He'd never rested his head in somebody elses lap before, but he'd seen it done a few times in movies. He never thought that it looked very comfortable, either, but maybe he was wrong about that. Adam's lap was soft as it made contact against the sides of his cheeks, and it was, undoubtedly, far more pleasant than the ground could ever be.

Once Adam's hand began to gently stroke the shaved portions of his hair, Shiro knew that he was no match. Adam's hands were bigger than he had expected, yet they moved with such subtly gentle movements, caressing all of the exposed hair with the tips of his fingers, and stopping only when he reached the nape of his neck. It was bliss. Pure bliss. _So this is what it's all about. Every moment has led to this. I'm glad I was born._ The last thing Shiro recalled seeing through his sleepy eyes was a blurred vision of the quiet forestry before him, and then, darkness, as sleep won the battle. 

* * *

It was still dark outside by the time Shiro opened his eyes. The scenery around him had not changed in the slightest, his head was still using Adam's lap as a pillow, and the only new addition was a small pool of drool that had formed beneath his mouth. He lazily wiped his chin with the back of his hand, glancing back at Adam, who remained absorbed in the book that he was reading.

"Is it any good?" Shiro asked, causing Adam to jolt in surprise. He hadn't seemed to have noticed that Shiro had woken up.

"Yeah, it's not bad," Adam answered.

Shiro remained quiet then, watching with interest as Adam finished the paragraph he'd been reading, slipped a bookmark between the pages, and then set the book safely back into his bag.

"It has a gay character in it, actually." Adam said. Shiro's eyebrows raised with interest.

"Does it?"

"Yeah..." Adam paused, "It's not written in the book, though."

Shiro furrowed his eyebrows, not sure that he was following along. "Then how do you know?"

"The author said it in a Q&A." Adam answered.

Shiro began sitting up at that point, stifling a yawn with his hand as he wiped the last bit of drool from his chin. "That's pretty cool." 

"Yeah, but the guy that is implied to be his partner dies after about two paragraphs."

"Seriously?"

"Mhm," Adam nodded slowly, "it's a pretty big bummer because they hyped it up so much." 

Shiro hummed quietly in thought, "Well, at least the one gay character is still alive."

"That's true," Adam said with a little smile before adding, "I mean... He's technically dead for four of the eight books, though."

"Okay, this is getting a little suspicious." Shiro joked. The two laughed.

"They keep confirming more and more background characters as gay, but you'll never guess what they all have in common."

"Let me think. They're all alive and well?" Shiro asked, a hint of sarcasm in his tone.

Adam shook his head. "Quite the opposite."

"Jeez, what a pattern." Shiro replied, an exasperated sigh to follow.

Adam gave an amused smile, "Enough about all that, though. How did you rest?"

"Like a rock," Shiro responded, giving a thumbs up, "Sorry for drooling on you. Probably should've mentioned sooner that it's a bad habit of mine."

"Hm, that's okay, I figured that out five minutes in." Adam replied, laughing.

Shiro stood from his spot, stretching his arms and legs out before he asked, "Should we walk and talk for a bit now?"

Beginning to follow Shiro's lead, Adam closed his bag, slipped his arms into the straps and then stood up, "Actually..." he began to speak, his voice low and apologetic, "Sorry but... I let you sleep a little longer than I promised."

Shiro stopped stretching, his arms remaining still in the air for a moment. He eventually lowered them and asked, "How long?"

"Uhm," Adam avoided eye contact while answering, "A few hours..?"

"Adam!" Shiro groaned.

"I'm sorry! You looked so peaceful, and you were so tired and I couldn't bring myself to wake you!"

"We only have one more night together, Adam, and you let me sleep through this one."

"I'm really sorry..." Adam mumbled, "Are you mad?"

Between his constant apologies, and the inability to look Shiro in the eye, Adam seemed to be genuinely upset about the whole ordeal, which made Shiro instantly feel bad.

"No," Shiro replied, "I'm not mad."

"You seem mad."

"Adam," Shiro said, his voice as soft as he manage, "I'm not mad, okay? I'm sorry, I just... To be honest, I just don't know how I'm going to go back to letters after these last couple of nights."

Adam smiled lightly, his eyes finally finding Shiro's as he returned the eye contact, his tense shoulders easing up. "Me too."

That night, the parting of the two was somber at best.

* * *

The next day went by slowly. Dreadfully slow. It was never-ending, really.

The positivity high that Shiro had been riding had come to an end just as quickly as it had started. He had even spent his free time taking a nap instead of playing with Keith, which resulted in the five year old refusing to even make eye contact with him during meal time. He couldn't blame Keith for being upset. He would be, too. But he didn't have the motivation that day. He wanted his last night hanging out with Adam to be something special, and for that to be possible, he needed to rest up to ensure that he'd have enough energy to be fun.

Despite the extra rest, the day still went by at an excruciatingly slow speed. By the time nightfall had arrived, Shiro felt as if it had been days since his last meeting with Adam, as if he had become miles away despite being so close.

Sure enough, the time to meet up had once again arrived. He met Adam at the same location, they greeted quiet hello's, and so, the final night began.

"Today went by so slowly." Adam had said with a groan.

"Did it ever." Shiro replied, rolling his eyes. They both laughed afterwards, and the mood seemed to be remaining on the light side despite how their meeting the night before had ended.

"What do you want to talk about tonight?" Adam asked.

"Actually I thought there was something we could do instead of talking." Shiro said, tilting his head with a peculiar smile.

Adam became interested, yet apprehensive all at once, "And what is that?"

"You'll see," Shiro said teasingly. He reached forward and, taking Adam's hand in his (though keeping their fingers unlocked), he turned on his heels and began to lead the boy in a direction that the two had never taken together before. It was deeper into the woods than Adam was accustomed to travelling, his nerves growing stronger with each and every step they took that led them further from the safety of the town.

"Um, Takashi, this is...." Adam began to mumble, his voice hardly audible, "This is... safe for work, right? We're only twelve and it's kind of dark and scary out here and..."

"It's nothing bad, Adam!" Shiro re-assured him, though it hardly helped to put Adam's worries to ease.

Soon enough, the sound of lake waves hitting the shore could be heard, and quick to follow it was the distinct smell of the water wafting throughout the air.

"Have you ever seen the lake at night?" Shiro asked.

"No," Adam answered honestly, "I didn't even realize you could get to the lake through the woods here."

Once they arrived to the lake-front, Shiro kept his grip on Adam's hand, and glanced over at him. The moon beams reflected off of his glasses, as well as little trickles of starlight that were spread across the night sky. He wore a curious expression filled with both delight and wonder, causing him to look more childlike than Shiro had ever seen him look before.

_But we really are still just kids, aren't we? That's what you told me. These past few nights have been really fun and special. I'm glad we got the chance to get to know each other so well. Adam and Adrian aren't the same person at all. They're like two different people in my mind, and I'm really enchanted by both of them._

The two began to walk further down the dock, their hands slowly unhooking from each as they reached the edge.

_There's still so much I want to know about you, Adam- Things that Adrian can't tell me, things that he'd fear to write in a letter in case it were to fall in the wrong hands. I can't walk along the forest's edge with Adrian, or lay in his lap while he combs through my hair with his fingertips. That's something that only you can do._

__

"It's so pretty," Adam commented absent-mindedly. His attention remained on the scenery, not seeming to have noticed that Shiro's attention was on something else completely.

_Do I really have to give this up? Is this really our last night to spend together?_

"Hey," Shiro said suddenly, "Do you want to do something fun?"

Adam finally turned his gaze to Shiro, "Like what?"

Slowly, his hands moving with a nervous tremble, Shiro reached forward and gripped onto Adam's glasses from the sides. He gently pulled them forward until they were completely removed from his face, and then he set them carefully on the dock where they would be safe from danger. Adam looked nervous, his face having quickly become a beet red colour. As Shiro stood again, he took Adam's hand in his, and then he took a few long drawn breaths.

"Are you ready?"

"Ready for what..?" Adam asked cautiously.

As if his body were moving on it's own, Shiro turned away from Adam, and jumped forward into the cold waters of the lake. He tucked his knees against his chest with his free hand, and Adam followed shortly after him, though he had hardly any time to process what was going on. They plunged under the water together, the temperature so cold that it was practically biting against their skin. Shiro cautiously tucked an arm under Adam's armpit as they began to surface at the top of the water, in case he couldn't swim after all.

They simultaneously gasped for a breath of air as they broke the surface, water dripping from their soaking wet hair. Adam pushed Shiro's chest, breaking free from his grip while treading back a few paces.

"Jerk!" Adam grumbled, giving him another shove, "What're you thinking?"

 _Not that,_ Shiro thought to himself, _that's definitely not what I had been thinking at all._

"I'm sorry, really," Shiro replied, an apologetic look on his face, "I thought it'd be funny."

"Think things through for once, Takashi! It's cold, and I didn't bring any towels!" Adam grumbled.

"Uhhh," Shiro struggled to think of a good excuse, "Friends that play together stay together?"

"That's your argument? That's really what you want to go with?"

Shiro nodded his head.

"If I catch a cold, I am so blaming you for it." Adam said, going to nudge Shiro's shoulder once more. However, Shiro had since grown wiser and was able to dodge the movement by dunking beneath the water. He quickly swam passed Adam in the opposite direction, before the other boy followed suit, quickly floating beneath the surface and swimming after Shiro. Almost instantly, he caught up, and gripped Shiro's ankle in his hand to stop him from getting away. When Shiro glanced back, he realized that Adam was pointing upward towards the surface, motioning for him to come back up.

They both swam up, and took a moment to catch their breath. 

"You- You didn't tell me you could swim so fast." Shiro commented.

Adam was quick to respond, "You never even asked me if I could swim."

"Yeah, my bad," Shiro said, "I really should've done that."

Adam laughed a bit, his mood seeming to have lightened very quickly. "The water's not too bad once you get used to it."

"Yeah, must be all the warmth from the kids peeing in it all summer." Shiro joked.

Adam scrunched up his nose in disgust. "You have a real poetic sense, don't you?"

It was Shiro's turn to laugh then, though mostly out of relief that Adam wasn't _too_ mad at him.

"It's so pretty, isn't it?" Shiro asked, "The moon reflecting on the water. I've always wanted to swim at night like this but they would never let us."

"Yeah, it's really pretty." Adam agreed, "My parents would throw a fit if they knew what I was doing."

"Swimming in the lake at night, unsupervised, with a gay kid? Yeah, gotta say, doesn't sound like a parents dream." 

Adam laughed quietly, and nodded his head. "This really is our last night to hang out together, isn't it?"

"Unless your parents suddenly decide to stay out more, then yeah." Shiro replied. 

Adam sighed quietly, "I can't see them leaving me alone for much longer." 

"It's been a lot of fun, though." Shiro commented. He knew that it was his last chance to say anything he wanted to in person, but eventually, he settled on, "I'm glad I got the chance to get to know you better, off paper." 

A bright red colour began to burn beneath Adam's eyes, and he almost looked as if he was about to cry. Shiro felt a pang of guilt, yet there was nothing he could do about it. They had no other options.

"I don't want this to end." Adam mumbled quietly. 

"Yeah, me neither. But we can still keep doing the letters, right? At least it's something." Shiro replied, but Adam didn't look convinced.

"I guess so, yeah."

Shiro floated closer to Adam, breaking through the small gap between the two. He placed his hands on the other boys shoulders, and looked at him seriously. "It'll be okay. We'll have a lot of fun writing again, and we'll still see each other every night even if it's brief." 

Adam smiled, a thin line of tears now brimming in his eyes with the threat to fall at any given second. He wrapped his arms around Shiro's waist, nuzzling his cheek against his broad shoulder. Shiro was quick to reciprocate the movement, wrapping his arms around Adam's shoulders in a tight hold. His cheek rested against the comfortable rounded curls in Adam's hair, feeling the texture of the hair as it brushed against his skin softly. The two continued to embrace each other while bobbing in the cool lake water for some time, the bitter cold no longer having the same sting that it had at first.

* * *

Lining the edges of the docks were the wet articles of clothing that the boys had been wearing when they jumped into the lake. At the very end, Adam and Shiro sat, back-to-back, dressed only in their underpants while it dried stiffly against their skin. Naturally, it was Adam's idea to keep at least one article of clothing on. He was too embarrassed at the idea that somebody could walk by on an evening stroll at any given time, and explaining their situation would not only be embarrassing, but also potentially dangerous for the both of them.

To pass the time as their clothing dried, the two had a long discussion about what they'd be doing after the summer ended and school began once more. They were both about to begin the seventh grade, but there were some minor differences in their experiences. Adam would be heading into a new middle school, whereas Shiro was going to continue to attend the same elementary school until the end of the eighth grade. Adam worried mainly that he knew nobody at his new school, and that his quiet nature often made it difficult for him to make new friends, and, despite Shiro's attempts to assure him that it would be alright, he still wasn't very sure if it would be.

"We can keep writing each other. Maybe even try e-mailing or something. We can talk about everything and anything. Neither one of us will ever fully be alone." Shiro had said, to which Adam smiled lightly. It sounded nice- the idea that neither of them would ever be on their own again, so long as they had each other to talk to.

"I'll give you my e-mail in the next letter, then," Adam said, "And you better not lose it."

"I'll tattoo it on my skin if I have to," Shiro joked, to which both of them laughed.

Eventually, their clothing had dried as much as it was going to within a reasonable amount of time. It was still damp as they put it back on, but it would have to do. It was getting too late in the night, and staying for much longer would only be a risk for the both of them. Neither of them wanted to depart, but they knew that they had no choice. Adam fought back tears once more, leaving Shiro with the strong desire to do the same. He fought the urge as hard as he could, and instead brought Adam back into his arms as they gave each other one long, final hug goodbye.

Shiro's journey home that night could be described as pitiful at best. He walked much slower than he usually did, due to both his forlorn state of mind, and the uncomfortable wetness of his clothing. He was in no particular hurry to get back to the campsite, even more so than usual, feeling as if his fear of being caught had quickly worn off. Maybe he was overconfident, or maybe he was just depressed. Maybe it was even a weird mix of the two.

When he arrived back to the cabin, he sighed somberly to himself. The sights of the building only helped to solidify the fact that his time with Adam was over, and that it was time to grin and bare his days for only a few moments of freedom each night.

He walked up the path quietly, the small droplets of water from his clothing having created a small trail of dribbles behind him. As he reached for the handle of the door, a voice stopped him.

"I knew it. You have been sneaking out of here." 

Shiro didn't need to turn around to know who the voice belonged to. It was very clear and distinct.

The boy was one of his bunk mates, and one of the few other boys that actually came from a poor background. He was small for his age, spoke with a thick accent, and was an easy target for the much crueller posh boys in the bunk. His name was Slav. Though Shiro didn't interact much with him, something about the boys paranoid nature would often get under his skin, so he tended to ignore his frequent ranting and rambling.

"What are you talking about?" Shiro asked, his voice no more than a whisper. 

"The past few nights, you leave the cabin and do not return for several hours." Slav was quick to reply. His tone was very matter-of-fact-like, and serious. "The direction of the breeze as you sneak past my bed has awoken me several times."

"Yeah, well, uh, camp food doesn't agree with my stomach." Shiro replied casually.

"I thought you might have an excuse like that, but then why do you smell like ocean water?" Slav responded, his arms now crossed over his chest. "The probability of the scent of the ocean reaching you at the bathroom cabins is less than twenty percent, and therefore, highly unlikely."

"I fell in the toilet?"

"With your weight and body type accounted for, the chances of this being possible are-"

"Okay, I get it. Highly unlikely." Shiro interjected, having already grown tired of the interaction. "You can't tell anybody about this."

Regardless, Slav continued onward, "You're breaking camp rules, and endangering yourself. Do you even realize how many wild animals are lively during these hours of the night? Do you realize what the chances of you being injured, or worse, killed, would be?"

"I'm guessing high so I'm gonna head inside now," Shiro said. He reached forward for the cabin handle before he paused once more and turned back to face Slav, "Unless you wanna be bear food, I'd hurry it up and get inside, too."

Slav quickly gulped back in fear, and he was in no position to argue Shiro's point after his own rant. He hurried passed Shiro in pursuit of the safety of his own bunk, when Shiro grabbed his arm, and held him back for a moment, whispering threateningly into his ear, "I mean it, Slav. You can not tell a soul about this."

Freeing his arm from Shiro's grasp, Slav didn't respond. He didn't even so much as look back. He quietly curled back up into his bed, and hid his head beneath the safety of his blankets.

Shiro grew too tired to care. It was a problem for the Shiro of tomorrow. The present Shiro just wanted warm clean clothing, and a long, long nap.


	3. Baby Brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the world's shortest update but I hope you like it anyway! I didn't wanna hop straight from one drama to the next and I thought this scene would make a nice, short chapter of its own! Enjoy!

Sunlight floated in on Shiro as he slept, beating against his closed eyelids, and causing his view to become a brightened blurred. He covered his face beneath the safety of his blanket to block it out but the blanket was snatched out from his weakened grip only seconds later. He reached down, grabbing the blanket again and pulling it back over his face. Again, the blanket was tugged from his grip.

Shiro brought his hands down a third time, blindly searching for the blanket, but he had no such luck. It was nowhere to be found. 

“Very funny, Keith,” Shiro grumbled, his voice still heavy with sleepiness. “Let me sleep longer, please.”

“Wake up, wake up, wake up,” a small voice pleaded, much too deep to belong to his five-year old brother. 

Shiro quickly sat up, forcing his tired eyes open. At the foot of his bed sat Slav, with the corners of the blanket balled up in his tightened fists.

“What’s going on?” Shiro mumbled, rubbing his eyes with his hands. “Is everything alright?”

Only then did Shiro recollect the events of the night before, spanning from his jaunt in the lake with Adam, to Slav spotting him on his way back inside. 

“I can’t. .. I can’t do this.” Slav’s voice quivered. 

Shiro could barely keep his eyes open against the blinding morning light. He scanned his eyes across the room, and though he couldn’t be certain, he couldn’t see anybody else in the cabin but him and Slav.

“What are you talking about?”

“I can’t live with this guilt!” Slav whined without hesitancy. “There’s a good chance that I’m not the only boy who knows about your secret sneak-aways and if somebody else knows and, as a result, they know that I know… the probability of us both getting into trouble as a result is too high for my liking. I can’t live like this! I can’t be a bystander! We have to come clean!”

Shiro blinked a few times. 

_It’s too early for this._

_It’s way too early for this._

Shiro groaned in frustration, and twisted around in the bed, his legs now bent over the side. He stared down at the wood planks of the floor beneath him, and observed the many carved signatures of tenants from the past. His breathing was slow and long, to calm himself down. He needed to be patient, and remain level-headed. He needed to convince Slav that everything was fine. 

Shiro ran a hand through his hair once he had steadied his composure enough to begin speaking. 

“Slav, buddy, you can’t tell anybody. This has to stay between us. You’re the only one who has figured it out. It’s going to be fine.”

But Slav wasn’t convinced. “You can not guarantee that possibility.” 

“If nobody else knows but you and I, then telling an adult would expose us, and we would be getting ourselves into trouble that we otherwise could have avoided forever. I need you to trust me. I cover my trail. I know what I’m doing.”

“That’s what you thought but it’s not true. Other boys could have figured it out just like I did but maybe they’re just waiting for a key time to tattle.”

Shiro gritted his teeth, but forced a smile instead, “And when would a key time to tattle be? Pray tell?”

“I don’t know…” Slav was wracking his mind with the endless possibilities. “The likelyhood of it being used for blackmail is quite probable… considering the nature of these boys.”

“I really don’t think any of them are smart enough to think of that.”

Shiro stepped fully out of his bed by then, and collected a suitable daytime outfit for himself. He went for something on the more comfortable end of the fashion spectrum, his body still sore from his lack of rest over the past few nights. 

Slav persisted in his endless arguments. “We don’t know that! It could be possible!”

“Stop it.” Shiro firmly stated, turning his back on Slav as he switched his pajama shirt for a new one. “You’re just making yourself paranoid, and you’re going to get us caught just by talking so loudly.”

In a panic, Slav instantly slapped his hands over his mouth, his eyes widened in fear. In a loud whisper, he uttered, “What if somebody heard?!”

“Seeeeeriously!” Shiro groaned. “Nobody is here. Everything is going to be fine.”

“But-“

“No buts about it!” Shiro exclaimed. He turned around to face the other boy, by then having finished changing his clothes. “Slav. I can’t tell you why I need you to keep this secret for me. It’s dead serious. And you outing my secret would be way worse news for us than any consequences we could face by keeping this secret.”

Slav swallowed back. He still clearly felt a very real fear over what was going on, but he took Shiro’s warnings just as seriously. 

“It’s really that precious of a secret?” Slav asked quietly. 

“Yes. It means everything to me, and I’m sorry that you got caught up in all of this but please, I beg of you, just forget about it. I’ll be more cautious from now on. Nobody will ever know.” 

Slav stayed quiet then, deeply contemplating the weight of the situation laid out before him. It was complicated and messy, and he had so many possible choices that it stressed him out beyond belief.

There was a knock at the cabin door then, snapping both Shiro and Slav out of their current tense mood. Shiro shot Slav a brief glance before he called out, “Come in.”

The door swung open, and on the other side stood Keith, his arms crossed over his chest. His bottom lip protruded out from his face in the form of his infamous pout that Shiro had gotten to know all too well. 

“Taka!” The five year old grumbled, “Where you been?! You didn’t come to play yesterday and now you didn’t come to breakfast neither!” 

“Keith, I’m sorry,” Shiro quickly shifted into big brother mode, the tone of his voice softening by a few octaves. “I’ve been sleeping a lot, but I’m awake and ready to play now.” 

Keith continued to pout, his bottom lip twitching slightly. “I thought you hate me now.” 

“Noo, of course not,” Shiro bent down to Keith’s height, running a hand through his black tufts of hair. “I could never hate you. I was just being a real old man and sleeping.” 

Keith scrunched his nose up, unable to refrain from laughing. “You’re not an old man! You got no wrinkles!” As he said this, he pinched Shiro’s cheeks with his tiny fingers. 

“So I’m not an old man yet, huh? Does that mean that we can go and play now?” 

“Uh-huh!” Keith said. His mood had done a complete turn around in only a few seconds. It was a skill that Shiro had mastered, and he was quite proud of it. 

Shiro stood, and took Keith tiny hand in his own. He spared a glance back to Slav before leaving, his eyes pleading silently one last time. 

“See ya later, Slav,” Shiro said, receiving no response. Slav remained silent in the center of the cabin, and he would continue to do so for some time yet. 

Exiting the cabin, Shiro kept his grip on Keith’s hand firm, shuffling through the field around them, his feet moving at an unconsciously rapid pace. He couldn’t take his mind off of his current situation. He had a new fear born within him, and he knew it wasn’t dying down any time soon. 

If Slav knew his secret, then how long would it be until he told someone, or somebody else found out on their own accord? Did other people know already? Was he not as stealthy as he had so confidently thought that he was? What if his bunk got search and his letters were found? What if… What if he was outed to everybody? 

His blood ran cold at the thought. He knew that he was closer than ever to having one of his worst fears come to life. 

He wanted to come out of the closet one day, but at his own pace! He didn’t want to be forced out!

“Taka, wait! You going too quick!” Keith exclaimed, practically tripping over his own feet to try and keep up with Shiro’s pace. 

“Sorry, buddy, I didn’t mean to go so quick.” 

“Don’t forget, we gotta pick up Kosmo.” Keith said, tugging on Shiro’s hand. 

“Yeah, yeah, I didn’t forget.” 

Kosmo was Keith’s most cherished possession, and the only toy he’d ever gotten majorly attached to. He was a very strange stuffed animal. He was supposed to be a wolf, or so Shiro thought that’s what he was supposed to be, but for some reason his fur was an array of blue shades. Regardless, Keith was obsessed, and he hated going far without him. 

Toys were restricted from meal times, but during free time he was allowed to do whatever he pleased, including playing with Kosmo.

They briefly stopped by Keith’s cabin where he retrieved the stuffed animal, and then they continued on their way.

Eventually, they found a secluded spot in the grass that overlooked the lake, and Shiro suggested they play there for awhile. 

Laying down in the grass with his hands rested behind his head, Shiro stared up at the endless blue sky, hardly a cloud in sight, and took a deep breath, trying to ease all of the anxiety boiling up inside of him. Keith plopped down beside him, Kosmo snugly in his tiny arms.

“Hey, Keith?” Shiro asked. 

He didn’t know what he was going to say exactly, his mouth moved before he could think. 

Was he coming out? Was it a good time? Would Keith even understand what he was talking about? 

“Uh-huh?” The five year hummed. 

“What would you do if everybody started to say really mean things about me, and they all hated me?” 

“Huh? Why would people hate you?” 

“I don’t know,” Shiro mumbled, feeling his eyes getting hot. 

_What am I even saying? I’m confusing him. Shut up. God, I’m tired._

“Do people hate you, Taka?” Keith asked. 

“No, I don’t think so, but what if they did? And it was cause- I don’t know- what if it was cause I had a secret?” 

“What secret?” 

Shiro ignored the question. “Would you still love me? Even if other people hated me?” 

“Are you crying?” Keith asked, poking the wet corners of Shiro’s eyes. As he did so, the faintest inkling of a tear ran down his cheek. 

Shiro didn’t understand why he was suddenly feeling so emotional. 

He was scared. 

He felt alone. 

He didn’t know what to say or do, and he definitely didn’t feel safe anymore. 

He couldn’t control himself after that, and a few other tears spilled from his eyes. He stubbornly wiped them away with the backs of his balled up fists. 

“I love you lots,” Keith said, gently patting the top of Shiro’s head with his hand, as Shiro had done with him many times before. “It’s okay, Taka, don’t cry.”

Shiro couldn’t hold back anymore, hot tears streamed down his cheeks as if a dam had broken. He sat up, taking his little brother tightly into his arms. 

“I love you too, Keith, no matter what. I’m sorry your big brother is such a big, confusing baby.” 

Keith patted Shiro’s back with his little hands, “But why are you sad?” 

“I don’t know,” Shiro said. He wished he could say. But he couldn’t. Not yet. He wasn’t ready.

_I hope I can tell you myself one day, Keith. I really do. I don’t want you to find out any other way._

“I’ll be okay,” Shiro spoke again, calming himself with a deep breath. “Don’t worry.” 

“Oh, okay.” Keith said. He was easy to convince. “There, there.” 

Shiro laughed, wiping his nose with the back of his sleeve. He pulled away from the embrace, and softly kissed the top of Keith’s head. 

“Thank you, Keith.” 

Keith smiled, revealing his missing front teeth as he did so. “You wanna play now? It’ll make you feel better!” 

Shiro nodded his head, sniffling back his remaining sadness. He had to stay calm, and live in the present moment. Nothing bad had happened yet, and maybe it never would. 

“Yeah," Shiro agreed, exchanging his saddened tone for a chipper one, "let’s play!”


End file.
